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WALTHAM, Mass. — The Raytheon Institute, a bipartisan think tank that specializes in starting Middle Eastern wars, has released a report that estimates the imminent Iran War will be approximately one
TEHRAN — The Iranian government has avenged the recent death of Iranian tourist Qasem Soleimani in an American strike near Baghdad the only way they saw fit: by indulging in the
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — Yaaaaaaaawwwwwwn. Like, oh so you’re Airborne? No. One. Caaaaaares. I was Airborne once. And holy cheese wiz did we sit around a lot and throw
SANTA CLARITA, Calif. — Chris Peterson, CEO of LA Fitness Holdings LLC, publicly apologized for his company’s ill-timed marketing campaign to “draft Americans back into the gym” that resulted in
Oorah! Stand at ease, please! Yeah I know you weren’t at attention, I just wanted to say that so I could feel like a real officer. What are you
2020 is well under way, and the drawdown in the Middle East has reversed course. We now have a whole new brigade of the 82nd Airborne Division deployed, new units
KABUL — The United States has agreed to sign a peace deal with the Taliban so long as the Taliban agrees to maintain a permanent state of war with the United
PENTAGON — Sailors’ waistlines may be expanding, but their increased buoyancy is saving the Defense Department billions of dollars in life-jacket costs, according to a study released by the Navy. The
FORT EUSTIS, Va. — Gen. Paul E. Funk II, the commanding general of Army Training and Doctrine Command, wants TRADOC to join him in Funky Town. “It's on target,
FORT CAMPBELL, Ky. – Second Lt. Miguel Herrera, an infantry platoon leader with A Company, 1st Battalion, 502nd Infantry Regiment, is a man of great confidence but has a growing sense
PYONGYANG — In the face of international sanctions that have hobbled its gasoline-fueled mechanized forces, North Korea has been forced to find innovative ways to maintain its military power. Its ground
WASHINGTON — An unsettling fog descended in the early morning hours as onlookers camped out in anticipation for the ceremony: Would the U.S. emerge from its Pentagon and observe its
FORT BENNING, Ga. – An Army recruit is in Military Police custody after a jovial prank hilariously took the life of his drill sergeant, sources confirm. Rodney Tillman, a native of
AFGHANISTAN – Army Sgt. First Class Derrik Dillon, watching the world fade away from him after suffering fatal injuries from an IED explosion, spent his last moments on Earth hoping that
QUANTICO, Va. – After year of extensive testing, the Marine Corps announced it would begin issuing maternity body armor to expectant mothers and corpulent colonels by fiscal year 2021. “It’s
FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — A pesticide treatment at the headquarters of U.S. Army North accidentally killed all of the civil servants assigned there, according to surviving Army officers. More
THE PENTAGON — The Department of Defense announced today that all the computers in the Pentagon had been upgraded to Windows 95, sources report. “The future of war is in the
We all know chief warrant officers to be the seasoned, technical professionals of America's armed services. But every now and again, we find ourselves wandering over to the
THE UNDERGROUND — Reports from the E4 Mafia suggest soldiers are concerned about the Space Force: Specifically, what disrespectful nickname can we all decide on? “We weren’t ready for the
THE PENTAGON — Much of planned Space Force doctrine has been copied directly from the popular space-themed video game StarCraft, according to multiple sources. "Supply depot, refinery, barracks, refinery..."
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Army Human Resources Command (HRC) has been popping champagne corks all day after achieving a command first: 110 percent of Army officers have gotten their preferred number
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Worldwide mourning over the tragic death of retired NBA superstar Kobe Bryant and eight others in a helicopter crash on Sunday also happens to be the best
FORT BRAGG, N.C. – Military police special-response teams raided a barracks complex last night on Gruber Road, arresting dozens of soldiers and shutting down an unlicensed dentistry ring that police
QUANTICO, Va. — Lance Cpl. Will Smithers will be removed from the Marine Corps early following his reckless behavior while in uniform, sources report. Smithers was driving home after a long
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