THE PENTAGON — Gore-Tex. Poly-Pro. Snivel Gear. These older systems will soon take a back seat to the Army’s newest cold-weather protection system, sources tell Duffel Blog.

The new kid on the block in terms of preserving soldiers’ body heat is known as PolarTec, which will be ready for mass fielding by the fall of 2015, ushering in a new age of comfort and defense from harsh weather conditions that will be immediately banned by every command sergeant major and field grade officer on the planet.

Defense officials say the combination fur and fleece lining on the interior is second to none. Citing the example of field testing at Fort Drum, it was found that PolarTec lining allows soldiers to operate almost 40 percent longer before having to retreat to warmed tents or buildings.

But it's also the refuge of the slovenly slacker, according to Command Sgt. Maj. Joseph F. Mayfield, who is also Professor Emeritus of Leadership Studies at East Dickhole State University.