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QUANTICO, Va. — After severely mishandling of extremely sensitive physical matter, 9-month-old Tyler Stevenson will be tried before a court martial convened by the Marine Corps' top brass. Stevenson, also
WASHINGTON — The Pentagon has unveiled a new drone, the EO-9 Justice Warrior. The platform comes equipped with a suite of advanced optics that renders it unable to distinguish between combatants
Salaam Alaikum, Brothers, I see you've completed the training facility just in time for the latest group of shahid to arrive. Let's see: bayonet course ... check.
YORKTOWN, Va.— In an amazing display of brilliance, a leadership training course held at the Coast Guard Yorktown Training Base on Monday went over time when one super smart and
FORT IRWIN, California — Army Master Sgt. Matthew Lowe made history today after clearing his name in a landmark discrimination case with an unlikely defense—he hates everyone equally. "Am
FORT BRAGG. N.C. — Army Chief of Staff Gen. James McConville has officially forbidden soldiers 18- to 20-years old from getting married while in the Army. The decision results from
NORFOLK, Va. — A Navy contractor was promoted from wearing a dirty t-shirt and jeans to polo and khakis, sources report. “I'm allowed to shop at the store that
CAPE MAY, N.J. — The Coast Guard’s newly adopted weight standards will allow members to be just fat enough to make people from other services jealous and wish they
KILLEEN, Texas — Pfc. Brayden Taylor made military history when she became one of the first female recruits to pass Infantry training and earn the coveted blue cord. This week, the
CHERRY POINT, N.C. — Catastrophe has consumed Marine Corps Air Station Cherry Point after a Marine died of crayon consumption, what sources call "one of the top three worst
WASHINGTON — The Pentagon sent the Kurds an ambiguous message at 02:14 this morning, according to a source embedded in northern Syria. The text message, "U up?" is
SYRIA — After being denied care for serious mental health issues at his local ISIS VA hospital, ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi walked out to the parking lot and detonated an
IDLIB, Syria – The remaining Islamic State senior leaders are looking inward to address reports of toxic organizational culture following news that their leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, killed himself this weekend.
We’ve all heard the saying “Trust a Marine with your life, not your wife.” Those words ring truest on November 10, when Marines gather to celebrate their branch’s
ATLANTA, Ga. — Delta Airlines, the world’s second largest carrier, announced today that it would offer a promotion called “Thank You, Heroes” aimed at active duty personnel, military veterans, and
AL JANNAH (Heaven) — Earlier this week, former ISIS head Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi announced that he has obtained more virgins in the afterlife than fellow afterlifer Jeffery Epstein. The announcement came
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The Trump administration announced this week Conan, the hero canine of the US raid that killed ISIS leader and austere religious scholar Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, would
WASHINGTON — In a shocking new report, the VA has released military suicide figures for active duty, reserves, and veterans while subtly mentioning that in no way did Jeffrey Epstein hang
KABUL – Blackwater, now known as Academi, will shock you and your and terrorists alike with their kick-in two doors, get one door kicked-in free “doorbuster deal” available now through the
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — The numbers are in from opening weekend, and Midway has captured America’s hearts as equally as it has rekindled a history of deep-seated racism against the Japanese.
WASHINGTON — Coast Guard officials are preparing for the looming government shutdown, or “fundraising season” as they now call it, with a celebrity-hosted telethon, sources confirmed today. “Other Homeland Security agencies
HONOLULU — A new report from U.S. IndoPacific Command reveals harrowing details about China's growing fleet of vert ramps, which experts say can only be countered by heavy
FORT BENNING, Ga. — Well, an actual prosthetic leg has managed to become Airborne qualified. The ceremony for said leg, which the Airborne Cadre affectionately referenced by its given name, “Fucking
DURHAM, N.C. — Veteran-owned clothing company Ranger Up has released a first-of-its kind "Tactical Bathrobe" for customers who are unemployed veteran operators. According to the company's
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