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Newly promoted admiral buys $500 million warship at 32% interest

| 1 min read

WASHINGTON—Moments after counseling a junior sailor about an ill-informed car purchase, newly promoted Rear Adm. (lower half) Richard Limping purchased a $500 million warship with a 32 percent interest rate loan.

Sources say Limping made the purchase after he found out what a "sweet hookup" he could get from Gary at the ship dealership.

"Gary from Gary's Discount Ship Emporium out in town said it was an awesome deal, and that I had to buy now or somebody else would beat me to it," said Limping. "He even hooked me up with a great loan from some guy behind a bulletproof window in the strip mall by the tattoo parlor."

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