CAMP LEJUNE, NC – In a press briefing today, Marine Cpl. Adam Flores issued a public demand to release the birth certificate of Army 2nd Lt. Trevor Lafontaine after the 22-year-old West Point graduate beat the field of 30,000 runners in his first ever Marine Corps Marathon with a time of 2 hours and 24 minutes.

“Lafontaine?” asked Flores, whose peers refer to by his "Semper Pie" nickname. “Not American. What is that? Kenyan? He’s probably from Upanda or somewhere down there, oorah.”