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Most ISIS militants still have not completed safety stand down for islamic New Year

| 2 min read
Most ISIS militants still have not completed safety stand down for islamic New Year

MOSUL, Iraq — Life as an admin officer with the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIS or ISIL) is hectic enough, but for Khalil Nassar, this October has been a certifiable nightmare.

Nassar, who “literally can’t even” right now, is the equivalent of a captain in the U.S. Army and deals with a “veritable ziftstorm” of paperwork every day, along with the incessant nagging of field-grade officers.

“‘Why haven’t our soldiers completed the safety stand down for the upcoming holiday?’ they ask,” complains an exasperated Nassar, rubbing his temples. “Do I look like a platoon sergeant? I’ve got enough on my plate with the start of the new fiscal year and this leave tracker for Murharram [Islamic New Year]. How should I know if Jamal Schmuckatalmoud sat through the goddamn PowerPoint?”

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